Only For A Moment

Today was a great and relaxing day.  Usually our weekend schedule is jammed packed with multiple events. Today our family was able to just relax, hang out and have a low stress day.

We went over to our best friends  new house, hung out for a bit, then they treated us to an awesome dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.  All day I was excited in anticipation of the "mail box experience".

Once again, I said a prayer, as my husband checked the mailbox. As he handed me the giant stack of mail, I quickly raced through the contents seeking the 1800 approval I've been longing for.  I see it!  The return address on one of the envelopes is from the US Department of Homeland Security.....For a moment, my heart beat races and I feel the excitement and joy of a victory.  We are one step closer to hugging our daughter.  But only for a moment.

Only for a moment. As I eagerly rip open the envelope the first sentence rips my heart out. The NBC is unable to process your claim at this time.  What how can this be???? Well, as it turns out our homestudy language approves us for a female child up to three years of age with special needs.  The NBC is unable to complete our claim because LeQiao is already 3 years old. 

At this point I can only guess the details of what this means.  I only know that this means a DELAY and additional fees! Whahhh, I don't want a delay. We have to file a supplement to our I800-A and update our hometudy.  I have no idea how long these things will take.  I can't wait until Monday when I can talk to my caseworker to find out the details.        

After a short lived pity party I am reminded that God's timing is always best. I do trust Him 100% I chose to rejoice during this trial. I could easily get swept away in my most natural response of sorrow and worry. Time and time again God reminds me that "I " am not in control. He is in control and I am now at a place where I must get back to the place of total surrender.  I surrender my ideals of timing.  I surrender my fear. I surrender my frustration. I surrender my broken heart.


 Lord, one day in December Jason and I trusted You and applied to adopt. Today I trust that You will deliver Josie to us in Your perfect timing. I do pray that this obstacle is overcome quickly so that we can bring our precious girl home soon.  I know that's where you want her so please make it so. I'm still praying for a travel date in December. Still praying for that miracle. Regardless of my desire on timing, I trust you and surrender myself to  your will.