CATCHING UP............ADOPTION TESTIMONY
As a little girl, I always pictured myself with many, many children, both biological and adopted. I have thought about it many times throughout my complicated life. My circumstances were rocky and I was NOT living inside the will of God so I never seriously pursued the adoption option. (This was also before my relationship with my husband).
About 6 years ago Jason and I made the commitment to Christ. We had two beautiful boys together. When I found out I was having a boy with our second son, I would always make comments that our next child would be a little girl from Africa. My husband would laugh it off and tell me NO! I just knew that we would in fact adopt, but wasn't really worried about the timing. I trusted that if it was meant to be, God would reveal the timing to us. When my youngest son turned three I got a very strong desire to adopt. I began doing research and checking into adoption agencies. I will admit that I was a little obsessed. My husband was not interested in adopting at the time because our finances would not support the costs.
Meanwhile, a family at church adopted twin boys from Africa. We were blessed to share in their journey through their family blog. I confessed my desire to adopt to my friend and she shared her story. They were not in strong financial circumstances either and God literally made every provision at every corner to complete their adoption. It provided encouragement and the revelation that fear should not be a deterrent. If God was truly asking us to adopt a child, then he would provide and who were we to question His will?
So that became our prayer. Lord are you calling us to adopt? And immediately Jason and I were inundated with adoption stories, speakers at church, and the conviction that God was calling us to adopt. Some may have called it a coincidence, but we felt a surreal peace that God was revealing truths to us through the people he placed before us. There was no doubt when my husband turned to me during a Harmony Outreach presentation at our church and said, "Rachel, I think we are supposed to adopt". God changed my resistant husbands heart. You have no idea the miracle that this change of heart is! Through our prayers we discovered that God was not calling us to adopt from Africa, but China. Again, I will admit at first I was confused, I always pictured our adopted daughter as African. But once again, God revealed to me that I am often caught getting in the way of His work with my own ideas and agenda ( I laugh out loud humbly, because every time, his way proves to be best).
So our process began. In December 2011 we filed our application. We have been absolutely amazed at how God has provided us with every payment we have needed to date. Now we are blessed to be an encouragement to others. This adoption is a true testimony to God's provision. Every time, He has given us just what we needed, just when we needed it. He always provides it in a way that proves to us and others (which is so exciting) that only through Him these things are possible. He asks us to take a step in faith then meets us and provides.
In May we "locked" a file for 3 year old little girl (le Qiao). Her neurological development is on target, but she is abnormally small. Her arms are very short and not symmetrical with the rest of her body. There is a possibility that she may have a form of dwarfism. We were immediately interested in more information about her when we reviewed her file. I contacted my caseworker and the next day ( Friday) I received an email that she was off the shared list secure website..... meaning another family had her locked.
I was devastated. I knew that I wasn't supposed to get my hopes up, or attached to a child, but I was in mourning. I felt like my daughter had been taken away. The next several children's files my caseworker sent us were of children with severe disabilities. I can not express in words the total grief and discouragement I felt. I felt so sad, to reject children. I read these beautiful children's stories and struggled with feelings of selfishness as some of their disabilities felt so overwhelming. So I prayed..... God PLEASE show me! Show me our daughter and I will obey. Show us who you have intended for us. PLEASE!
Tuesday morning I was driving home from work. Crying out to God about the disappointment I felt. I prayed that I would not be discouraged and remain in faith that He would show me who our daughter was to be. Then I prayed Lord, if this child (le Qiao) is her, then please let her show back up on the list AND have my caseworker catch it to notify us. My phone rang interrupting my prayer. I was driving, so I wasn't going to answer it, but I felt compelled to pull over and answer my phone. It was my caseworker! She called me to tell me that the file we were interested in returned to the list and she locked it for us!!!!!! I was overcome by tears of joy! God is so amazing and it feels so awesome to know without a doubt that this is the child he chose for us.
The thing that I absolutely love most about our adoption journey is the walk of 100% faith and trust that God has led my husband and I on. Words could never adequately express the way that God has used our adoption process to bind my husband and I together in trust, faith and complete adoration for the one and only who could ever deserve such praise. God himself. This journey is not about Jason and Rachel. This journey is truly about obedience to God.
This still gives me goosebumps!! I've been right there the whole experience rejoicing with you and amazed at God's grace but even to read it again just reminds me of where you both have come from to today!! YAY for Josie and that she was handpicked for you guys.
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